A Honeymoon Adventure

It really hasn’t been so much of an adventure as a chaotic internet journey on every hokey honeymoon website known to man. After going ballistic last night (and I would say that’s a fair word for my behavior…) to my fiance about our need to ‘get the ball rolling’ and book some stuff, I feel much better. Sometimes just having an outbreak of insanity every once in a while makes you pull yourself together. But when it’s not your money and you have have to get crafty…it’s an adventure. Kayak.com and Orbitz.com are no match for me when I’m trying to hit up L.A. on my way to Hawaii from Kansas!

But, like I said, I am chill now. I can almost taste that [Jamaican/Mexican/Hawaiian] air. We visited the gracious (and clearly sans visual-merchandiser) AAA Travel agency today. We were greeted by a heavyset woman in her sixties named Jackie who informed us that she was A) a travel agent and B) was going to make one photocopy before obliging us in conversation. When she returned, she repeated that she was a travel agent and that she was now an available-to-help travel agent. I looked at my fiance and declared that this woman couldn’t possibly know where to send us for an ideal honeymoon. She proved me wrong.
She told us exactly what we wanted: no kids, romantic, all-inclusive (if not in Hawaii), ‘free drinks’, private villas, jacuzzi tubs, horseback riding, hiking, water sports, spa, etc. She declared that we didn’t want an ‘it’s a small world after all’ environment (yes, she sang this ditty in a little sweet voice that made me laugh out loud). She was frank about all the places that were a rip-off and said she’s stayed in every single Sandals Resort there is. She told us that ‘we didn’t want to go there(some random resort)’ and ‘this is corny’… ‘this place made my husband feel like he had to suck up the whole time we were there…there were a lot of nudes.’ Thanks, Jackie. I would really prefer not to have my newfound husband suddenly getting the biggest peep-show of his life about the same time that I try to host one.
So ‘no early flights, no flights longer than five hours, at this price, go!’ I’m excited just to see what Jackie comes up with. In the meantime, she helped me plan an anniversary vacation for someday…a flight to Barcelona…getting on a cruise along the Mediterranean, and afterwards taking the train over to the French Riviera. Ahhh!
It’s going to be a wonder if we make it in one piece to our (still mysterious) destination. And whoever recommended any Texas cities for my post-nuptials can eat dirt. Well, I shouldn’t say that…Jackie hasn’t worked her magic just yet….

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