Bolero Bullcorn

Oh, I’m loaded tonight. Meaning, I’ve got some ammo.

For the record, I can admit that I always knew that planning one’s wedding would be an equally stressful and exciting time…one that might show your true colors or question your priorities. But I can safely say that not much has gone ‘according to plan.’ What could have possibly gone array when I still have over four months until my seance down the aisle? A cornucopia of things…many of which I still can’t mention just yet…too fresh. But what I can tell you so far is that I have fewer auburn hairs on my head than I started with.
I over-programmed us on our premarital classes, fought tooth and nail for registry items until there was a scene, I neglected to think of my family members as part of the wedding party, I got my ring resized twice and it still fits funky, I registered for ‘cheap’ glassware at Pottery Barn, I intimidated(?) a Priest who now won’t confirm that he is going to preside over the wedding, and I have officially started to talk like a crazy person.
But today, today is the kicker. As I log on to the Cathedral’s website to check the time that I will be allowed in the building, I stumble across a piece of new text (above). I know for a fact that this piece of text was not there when I logged on last. I am literally speechless. This is what you call a bridal nightmare. Hmmm. Let me think…a pashmina, a silk jacket, a….bolero?! Oh the choices are endless.
Brisket or Pork Loin? I don’t care. But let’s just say there will be something of a scandal going on in the doorway as I begin my walk down the aisle.
Oops…I must have dropped something. And so did every single attendant.

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