It’s Like Rain on Your Wedding Day

Alanis Morissette said it best.

We left our reception in a vintage Bentley while it continued to pour. Our photographer had us pull off to the side to take about thirty more minutes of pictures in the rain, but at this point- we were game for anything. When we were finally done with all of our obligations, we drove away to begin our happy ever after.
Happy ever after started with a dire bathroom situation from not being able to escape our guests (or my Spanx) at the nearest gas station, where I ran in with my dress and all and used their facilities. I wondered how often gas station attendants saw things like this?
About twenty minutes later, we arrive at our honeymoon night destination. I have selected this destination from a vast array of resources online claiming to have the best honeymoon accommodations. I’ve never been to a bed and breakfast and decided that this night would be a perfect time to get away from the predictable hotel scene. I guess I should have done my research about bed and breakfasts, but I wasn’t really aware how communal they are. We were sharing this ‘inn’ (literally on the pamphlet) with about 10 other couples and were instructed to tip-toe up the stairs to our room since we came so late and everyone else was asleep. You can see this story unraveling quickly… We get into the room and I discover that I am without purse. omg. I do not have my cellular device, wallet, chap-stick, or any of the other necessary things I have crammed in there over the course of the week. I don’t exactly feel that it’s right to start making phone calls to locate it at this exact moment, and I just try to chill out. We stuff our faces with all of our wedding food and cake that we’ve been sent away with from the evening. The next morning, Bryan announces that he’s going to take a shower, I laugh my bottom off. There is no shower, only a bath. He is in there for about 20 minutes drawing a bath. Meanwhile, I have to call my mother to find out that the vintage car company accidentally took my purse. We skipped the group breakfast in lieu of swinging by our own pancake breakfast. Our cabbie on the way over told us that if he had been a guest, he would’ve gotten us something we’d never use, such as a hot dog maker. I notice he’s never been married.
I tell Bryan I just can’t wait for our honeymoon.

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